Jan. 18th, 2013

nancylou: Impala and her two guys (Default)
Wow, I haven't had anything to say since overnights. They were ok. It took me about two weeks to get back to 'normal'. It was a different experience, but I couldn't do that on a regular basis. Although, I do miss the paychecks.

Moving on, I am here to tell you the things that I wish I could tell customers, but can't because I would probably get fired. LOL

They are in no particular order. Those of you also in retail, food service, office work, and any other job that requires that you deal with the general, dumb as dirt, public can relate and mix them up as you see fit.

'You' is the customer, not you, my reader. :)

1
. Get some manners  Didn't your mother teach you the 'magic word'? 'Please' sounds so much nicer than 'give me', or 'I need'. Plus, I just spent ten minutes of my life, that I will never see again, dealing with you and your crap, you could at least say 'thank you'.

2. I happen to like my job, it is you, that I hate  You like to say that I 'must hate my job'. No, I like doing shipment, planograms, displays etc. it is dealing with rude and lazy customers, like yourself, that I hate.

3. Read the freaking package
  You have the package in your hand and you are going to ask me a question about the product, that you can find out yourself by just reading the freaking package. Which leads into...

4. Is there something wrong with your eyes
Really, do you need glasses or something? Why would you walk down the aisle to where I am, and ask me the price of something that is back where you came from? I then walk to where the merchandise is and lookee, there is a price right underneath the product, why couldn't you just look for yourself? Also, you just walked down the aisle to ask me where something was, and guess what dumbass, you actually walked past the very thing you were looking for, did you even bother to look around? Which leads to...

5. Are you lazy
You spent five minutes walking around the store looking for someone to ask and could have spent that time looking at the signs at the beginning and end of each aisle for what you wanted.

6. I do not get paid to be your personal shopper
I am not going to stand around and wait for you to make up your mind. Also, do not give me a list of things that you need and expect me to run around the store getting them FOR you. I will tell you what aisles you need to go to and then move on. Which leads to...

7. How the fudge do you find your way around You don't know your 'left' from your 'right'. If I tell you that what you are looking for is on the left of the aisle, why the fudge are you looking to your right. If I tell you to go down 'aisle 5', why would you go down 'aisle 3'? 

8. You do not pay me Your name is not on my paychecks, so don't tell me that you are the reason that I get a paycheck.  Whether or not, you buy that five dollar item, I will still be getting a paycheck on Friday.

9. Why are you so fudging close to me I do not need you on top of me to hear what you have to say. I like my personal space. Which leads to...

10. We are not buddies  Don't look at my name badge and shorten my name. In fact, do not even call me by my name. If I saw your ugly face outside in the street and you called out to me, I would curse your ass out, or just walk past you, depending on my mood.

11. I am not the Chamber of Commerce If we do not have what you want, and then you ask 'where' it may be sold, do not assume that I know. And if I do know what store 'may' sell it, don't ask me where the nearest one is. I do not live in the neighborhood that I work. I know where the nearest Dunkin Donuts is, I know where I can get my newspaper in the morning, I know where the nearest subway station is to put money on my metrocard, and that is all I NEED to know.

12. Wait your turn  If I am talking to a customer, do not come up to me and start asking me questions.

13. Who are you talking to
If I am not looking at you, why would you assume that I am paying any attention to what you have to say?  Which leads to...

14. Now you want help
  I greet you and you walk past me without acknowledging my 'good morning', and then start yelling for help.

Which all boils down to..

15. You are not better than me  Just because I work in retail does not mean that I am your slave. Show me a little respect and I will be more than happy to help you, but try to treat me like dirt and watch out.



So there you (my lovely reader, not the mofo customer) have it, any favorites? any to add?

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nancylou: Impala and her two guys (Default)
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