nancylou: Impala and her two guys (Default)
2013-01-18 06:40 pm
Entry tags:

Things I wish I could tell customers

Wow, I haven't had anything to say since overnights. They were ok. It took me about two weeks to get back to 'normal'. It was a different experience, but I couldn't do that on a regular basis. Although, I do miss the paychecks.

Moving on, I am here to tell you the things that I wish I could tell customers, but can't because I would probably get fired. LOL

They are in no particular order. Those of you also in retail, food service, office work, and any other job that requires that you deal with the general, dumb as dirt, public can relate and mix them up as you see fit.

'You' is the customer, not you, my reader. :)

. Get some manners  Didn't your mother teach you the 'magic word'? 'Please' sounds so much nicer than 'give me', or 'I need'. Plus, I just spent ten minutes of my life, that I will never see again, dealing with you and your crap, you could at least say 'thank you'.

2. I happen to like my job, it is you, that I hate  You like to say that I 'must hate my job'. No, I like doing shipment, planograms, displays etc. it is dealing with rude and lazy customers, like yourself, that I hate.

3. Read the freaking package
  You have the package in your hand and you are going to ask me a question about the product, that you can find out yourself by just reading the freaking package. Which leads into...

4. Is there something wrong with your eyes
Really, do you need glasses or something? Why would you walk down the aisle to where I am, and ask me the price of something that is back where you came from? I then walk to where the merchandise is and lookee, there is a price right underneath the product, why couldn't you just look for yourself? Also, you just walked down the aisle to ask me where something was, and guess what dumbass, you actually walked past the very thing you were looking for, did you even bother to look around? Which leads to...

5. Are you lazy
You spent five minutes walking around the store looking for someone to ask and could have spent that time looking at the signs at the beginning and end of each aisle for what you wanted.

6. I do not get paid to be your personal shopper
I am not going to stand around and wait for you to make up your mind. Also, do not give me a list of things that you need and expect me to run around the store getting them FOR you. I will tell you what aisles you need to go to and then move on. Which leads to...

7. How the fudge do you find your way around You don't know your 'left' from your 'right'. If I tell you that what you are looking for is on the left of the aisle, why the fudge are you looking to your right. If I tell you to go down 'aisle 5', why would you go down 'aisle 3'? 

8. You do not pay me Your name is not on my paychecks, so don't tell me that you are the reason that I get a paycheck.  Whether or not, you buy that five dollar item, I will still be getting a paycheck on Friday.

9. Why are you so fudging close to me I do not need you on top of me to hear what you have to say. I like my personal space. Which leads to...

10. We are not buddies  Don't look at my name badge and shorten my name. In fact, do not even call me by my name. If I saw your ugly face outside in the street and you called out to me, I would curse your ass out, or just walk past you, depending on my mood.

11. I am not the Chamber of Commerce If we do not have what you want, and then you ask 'where' it may be sold, do not assume that I know. And if I do know what store 'may' sell it, don't ask me where the nearest one is. I do not live in the neighborhood that I work. I know where the nearest Dunkin Donuts is, I know where I can get my newspaper in the morning, I know where the nearest subway station is to put money on my metrocard, and that is all I NEED to know.

12. Wait your turn  If I am talking to a customer, do not come up to me and start asking me questions.

13. Who are you talking to
If I am not looking at you, why would you assume that I am paying any attention to what you have to say?  Which leads to...

14. Now you want help
  I greet you and you walk past me without acknowledging my 'good morning', and then start yelling for help.

Which all boils down to..

15. You are not better than me  Just because I work in retail does not mean that I am your slave. Show me a little respect and I will be more than happy to help you, but try to treat me like dirt and watch out.

So there you (my lovely reader, not the mofo customer) have it, any favorites? any to add?
nancylou: Impala and her two guys (Default)
2012-08-25 02:01 pm
Entry tags:

overnights start next week

Next Tuesday, we start doing shipment at night, after the store has closed. Nine at night til six the next morning. That is the only down side, that I can see. We are guaranteed forty hours, there are no customers, no idiot manager that I hate, no customers, no frigging dress code, did I mention the no customers part. It will mess up my sleeping for the next three weeks, but come on, no customers, how can you beat that?

When I was with RadioShack, I had the keys to the store and I loved doing shipment early in the morning before the store opened up. The shipment would arrive at six or seven, Thursday evening. I would walk into the store at five-thirty or six Friday morning. Eat my breakfast and get to work. Boxes flying all over the place, because I was just emptying them and letting them pile up. I was a shipment machine, LOL. Eight o'clock or so, I would stop and start crushing the empty boxes. The manager would show up around eight thirty, we would talk for a little bit, then he would do his paperwork and I would go back to my shipment. Nine o'clock and it was time to open the store. So for three hours, I was happy.

But, that of course is not completely true, because even though the store was closed, I still had to deal with customers. How, you might ask, well let me give you some examples.

I had customers calling the store at that time of the morning (six) wanting to know if the store was open. Because, they would look out their window, see the lights on in the store and assume that meant that the store was open for their questions. I would tell them that there were no salespeople in the store to help them and to call back after nine o'clock. These customers would then have the balls to ask me why I was in the store, if not to help them. I would kindly tell them, that I was doing shipment, tell them 'goodbye' and hang up the phone.

Then of course, there were the idiots in the street going across the street to Bagel Delight, to get their morning coffee and bagel, because they were too lazy to make themselves. They would walk passed the store and every one of them had to try the door because at six in the morning, they had to go into RadioShack. Even though the sign clearly said that the store opened at nine, they would bang on the door to get my attention, to ask if the store was open. Dah, the locked door should have been answer enough. Some would actually wave (or try to wave) me over to ask me a question. Depending on my mood, I would go to the door and ask them what they wanted. First thing they would want, is me to open the door, that wasn't going to happen, at which point I would walk back to my boxes. Most of the time, I ignored them and they got the hint and walked away. Really, if the door is locked, the sign says 'nine' and your watch says 'seven oh three', why would you bang on the door and ask if you can get something?

But then again, this is the same neighborhood, where some dumbass walked in and demanded that one of the salespeople fix his cellphone. Why, you ask? Because dumbass was fooling around with it and somehow changed the language to 'Chinese'. Even though he insisted that when he bought it A WEEK AGO, that was how the salesperson left it. Right, did I mention that at the time, the salespeople in the store were black, the assistant manager was spanish, the manager and I were white? At one time, we did have an assistant manager that was Chinese, but sad to say she had to transfer to another store to help out. Li and I were a deadly combination. Not to each other, but to the customers and especially to the salespeople. That was the only time, that I didn't always side with the salespeople, you mess with my salespeople, you need to deal with me, except if it was salesperson vs Li. Nope, sorry, Nancy has a new mistress, salesperson had to fend for his or herself. Anyway, back to dumbass and his Chinese phone. Salesperson Joanne, suggested he go to a Chinese Restaurant and have someone there fix his phone. It sounded like a good idea to me, but idiot gave her a nasty look and left.

I was in thie store for three years and I hated every minute of it. No, it wasn't the store I hated, it was the neighborhood. Customers would tell me, 'you must hate your job'. No, dimwit, I love my job. I LOVE doing shipment, I LOVE doing displays and planograms, I LOVE organizing stockrooms. What I hate, is dealing with stupid customers. Maybe three quarters of the customers are normal, sensible people, but it is that other quarter of idiots that make me want to cut someone. In this neighbor, they consider themselves 'open minded'. They are all for gay rights, women's rights, going green. But they are as racist as the deep South in the 1960's. Oh, don't get me wrong, there are black people in Park Slope, but for the most part, they are the nannies that take care of the children, so that the parents can relax at home. You want to hear how racist the Park Slopians are, take a seat.

So, one afternoon, I had finished my shipment and was hanging with the salespeople just before it was time to leave. Frank, Gainson, and Ben were standing close to the front of the store. Joanne was standing behind the counter and I was leaning against the T wall. A 'T wall' separates the left and right sides of the back of the store. Say you had a wall that was in between your living room and the kitchen, but you could stand in front of that wall and see both rooms, that is a T wall. So, this stupid Park Slopian 'female dog' walked into the store. Frank said 'good afternoon' and Gainson also said 'good afternoon'. She walked past them without a word. Joanne said 'good afternoon' to her, as she walked past the counter, also without acknowledging the greeting. I had been watching her since she walked in, and I could see where and to whom she was going. I forgot to mention (but you could probably correctly assume) that Joanne, Frank, and Gainson are black. Ben is from Puerto Rico. So, Miss Racist had now reached me, and the salespeople were smiling because they knew what was going to happen. Miss Racist asked me for help. I told her that she needed to talk to one of the salespeople. Forgot something, salespeople take all kinds of certifications to know all that they need to know to sell. As a stockperson, I did not need to take all that crap, so unless the customer had the most basic of questions, I can't help them. So, back to Miss Racist. She actually looked behind her at all the black faces, and told me that she wanted 'my help'. I told her that they were the salespeople and they were here to help her. The salespeople were silently laughing at her ass because they knew what my number one rule was. (do not diss my salespeople). So, she stood there looking stupid, until Frank took pity on her and asked her want she needed. She gave me one last look and then reluctantly talked to Frank. But then all of a sudden, realized that she had left her wallet at home, and left. Open minded my butt.

So, I am looking forward to doing shipment at night, without customers asking me stupid questions. This is supposed to last three weeks. Hmmm. This is Heaven.
nancylou: Impala and her two guys (Default)
2012-08-22 06:03 pm
Entry tags:

customer service does not mean customer slave

When did customers become unable to help themselves?

Back when I first started in retail, a customer asked where something was and you told them what aisle to go to and where approximately it would be in that aisle. Now, customers expect you to not only walk them to the item, but to tell them about the item that they came in to get. Then after making a choice, they will hand (or try to hand) you the item, so that you can carry it to the register for them.

No I am not kidding.

In Staples, customers (and the company) expect you to stop what you are doing, to walk the customer to what they are looking for and then stand there until the customer decides that he can take on his own. Please, give me a fudging break. In fact, when the district manager is in the store, we are not allowed to do shipment, the boxes sit in the backroom until he leaves because he wants 100% service from everyone. Then the manager wants to know why shipment gets backed up. Dah.

Why do we have signs at every aisle, if we have to walk the cusomer to the merchandise. Can't the customer figure out, that if she wants to buy some sharpie markers, she should, maybe go to the aisle that says 'MARKERS'?????

I love the customers who come downstairs and expect what THEY want to be right there at the foot of the stairs. Hey lazy ass, walk around the store, you may find what you need and maybe some other stuff as well.

Another thing I hate, is that customers ask 'do you work here', when the answer is so fudging obvious. Last week, I walked out the backroom pushing a cart full of boxes and this stupid ass, asks me if I work there. Are you fudging kidding me? Dumbass.

But then, what is worse are the times they ask that question, when they should just keep their mouth shut and go away.

For example, I walked into the store, Monday morning. When you walk into our store, you have the steps going down about thirty yards or so from the front door. So, I walked towards the steps, said 'good morning' to the store manager Angela and started going down the stairs. This stupid customer started walking down as well. Now mind you, I was dressed in regular clothes, I had my handbag and a canvas bag (which had my work clothes). As I am walking down, this idiot asks me 'do you work here?' First of all, Angela should have greeted the customer after saying 'good morning' to me, second of all, you just passed someone who clearly worked in Staples, but no, you think I am going to help you, because we happen to be going to the same place. That is not going to happen. Right in front of Angela, I told her 'no'. I got to the floor and out of the corner of my eye, I could see her following me, so instead of turning into the stockroom, I walked along the back aisle. She continued to follow me, Eventually I put enough distance between us, so that I was able to walk into the stockroom. But come on, did I look like I worked in the store? Stupid idiot.

I got a better one. I went into my neighborhood CVS, a while ago. Dressed in jeans and a shirt. I had a canvas bag over my shoulder, because I was doing some shopping. So, I'm walking in the front of the store, and this woman was walking towards me and I recognized the 'I need help' look in her face. I walked down one of the aisles, just to get away from her and don't you know, I can hear 'excuse me, miss' behind me. She said it a few times, I got fed up, turned around, looked at her and told her 'that I don't work here'. She looked confused. Really who would know more about me working in the store, me or some stupid customer? I went about my business and left her standing there. As far as I know, she is probably still standing there waiting for me to help her.

You want another one. I started in 'Alexander's'. Our badges were a two by three inch rectangular blue piece of plastic, with a big ass 'A' on it. Remember that, it is going to be important. Our store was part of a shopping mall. So, I walked into 'CVS', and I still had my badge(remember 'A') on. This woman came up to me and started asking me where something was. I told her that 'I don't work here'. She looked at my badge (A) and said 'you don't?' HUH. Where does 'CVS' have a frigging 'A' in it? I walked away from this dumbass before I cursed her out for being stupid.

I had a customer look at my badge 'Nancy' and he started calling me 'Nance'. Really, who the fudge are you and why do you think you can give me a nickname? If I saw your ass in the street and you called me 'Nance', I would call you a 'mofo' and keep walking. And there is not a damn thing you can do about it.
nancylou: Impala and her two guys (Default)
2012-08-22 02:35 pm
Entry tags:

retail is not the only place to find stupid customers

Bus drivers have to deal with stupid people.

Here in NYC, we have 'limited' buses on most of the bus routes. They are buses that stop only at main bus stops (mostly transfer points). At the top, where it says the route number and destination, it would also say 'Limited'. For example, for one of the buses I take to work it says 'B82 Limited Coney Island Ave via Kings Highway'. Got it? The driver also puts a sign in the window, that reads 'Limited' in three inch purple letters against an orange background. Sounds simple enough, wouldn't you say?

Nope, because stupidness is alive and well in NYC.

At least once every morning and once every evening, there is some dumbass on the bus, who doesn't understand the concept of an 'limited' bus.

He or she will ring the bell to get off at a local stop and then get mad at the driver, when he doesn't stop. When the driver informs stupid that it is not a 'limited' stop, stupid's response is always 'I didn't know this was a limited bus'. huh. Like I said, stupid.

The only ones more stupid than the ones on the bus, are the ones standing at a local stop, that wave their arms at the bus to stop. Yesterday, we had this guy in a pink shirt, standing at a local stop. The bus drove past his ass, but got caught at that block's traffic light. Stupid in the pink shirt ran up to the bus(in the middle of the street, mind you) and started banging on the door and cursing at the driver to be let it. Driver just ignored pink shirt. The light went green and we drove away.

Then of course, there are the idiots that just get on any bus that comes along, and then wonder why they are on the wrong bus.

An example, at the Flatbush Ave and Nostrand Ave stop, there are five different buses that stop there. Actually, when you count the limited versions there are really seven. So, you can see how someone not paying attention will end up on the wrong bus. Okay, some idiot is always sure to get on the B103 and as the bus makes the turn on Avenue H, he comes up to the driver and asks 'isn't this the B41? (The B41 goes straight up Flatbush Ave) Come on, does 'B 1 0 3' look like 'B 4 1'??? Just basic reading, people.

What about the idiots that have to go looking for their metrocard or change for the bus? So, you were just walking down the street, saw the bus and thought to yourself, 'hmm, maybe I should get on that bus?' Come on, you know you are getting on the bus, have your fudging fare ready. And put your fudging phone down for two seconds, so you can concentrate on finding your fare, dumbass.

I love the idiots that hold up two singles and ask 'does anybody have change', and then THEY GET MAD when nobody has any change for them. Are you kidding? You know you were getting on the bus and you know the bus does not take dollar bills, go into a candy story, buy a pack of gum or a chocolate bar and get fudging change. Don't expect us to have change for you and then get pissed when you are sh!t out of luck.

What about the idiots who come up to a bus that is caught at a traffic light (yards away from the bus stop) and bang on the door to be let in? Right, your clumsy ass falls, you sue the MTA, and the first question that the bus driver is going to be asked is 'why the fudge did you open the door?' Walk your ass to the bus stop and wait for the next bus, dumbass.

It really is amazing how stupid people are.
nancylou: Impala and her two guys (Default)
2012-08-15 06:31 pm
Entry tags:

is it Saturday yet?

I will be so glad when this week's sale is done.

We have composition books on sale, with a $5 purchase, you can get up to 3 for 10 cents each (four and more are $1 each). That's a limit of three with a five dollar purchase. Simple enough. Nope. The flyer clearly says 'limit three' and 'five dollar purchase'. The sign says clearly the same thing, but customers only see the 'ten cents'.


One customer asked me 'how many books were in a box'.
I asked him 'what books was he talking about'.
He said 'the ones on sale'.
I said 'you do know that there is a limit of three'.
He said 'really'.
I said 'yes'.
He took out his phone and told dimwit#2 that there was a limit of three. Dimwit#1 left with no books.

Female customer came over to me and said that the sign by the books, said that there was a limit, but the paper said nothing about a limit. I asked her for the paper and showed her where it said 'limit three'. She gave me a look, A fellow employee(Dave) was there and he started talking to her, I walked away. Later, he said that I shouldn't have shown her the limit in the paper, because it was rude. Huh?? Better for her to think that Staples was trying to deceive her, than to show her that the paper did mention the limit. Whatever. I was talking with another employee and he was shocked that Dave would say something like that.

Another customer wanted to know if he can order the compostion books online. I told him that I didn't know. I just checked and it is the same deal, limit three.

This other woman had twenty books in her shopping cart, when I told her the limit was three. She told me that she was going to do separate $5 purchases. When I had a chance, I took a walk upstairs to where the registers were and asked one of the cashiers if that were possible (I didn't think it was, but I wanted to check). She said that it was not going to happen. The manager would not allow multiple purchases just to circumvent the limit. Too bad I had to go back downstairs and miss the drama.

Then of course, there are the customers who need the sign explained to them. More of my life wasted on illiterate people.

Is it Saturday yet?
nancylou: Impala and her two guys (Default)
2012-08-14 09:26 pm
Entry tags:

Why are customers stupid?

Hello everybody out there.

I have been in retail for over twenty years and I have always wondered, why are customers so stupid?

Why do I need to waste fifteen minutes of my life, explaining a sign to an English speaking twenty something woman, who thinks that she is better than me, because she is shopping and I am helping her? Obviously she isn't better, because she does not understand a sign that reads 'first two are $1, any additional ones are $2'. Really, why is that so hard to understand??? And yet, it took me fifteen minutes to go over it with her. She kept on asking me, 'how much would the third one be'? Dah.

Then there is the dimwit I helped yesterday. She wanted glitter pens. All we had were glitter glue in different colored sticks. She wanted to know if they could be used as pens. On the package, it clearly stated 'GLITTER GLUE'. I showed her that it said 'glue'. but she wanted me to ask someone else. So I got a hold of a fellow employee and told him the problem, he said that it is a glue stick, not a marker. I told him to talk to the lady, because I was done with her. I later asked him what happened. He said that the lady still insisted that she would be able to use it as a marker and took them to the register to pay for them. Dah.

Currently, I work in Staples, but before that I worked at RadioShack for 10 long years. You want to talk about stupid customers.

RS sells HP printers and they sell ink that goes with the printers. That is the only ink RS sells. No other HP inks, no canon ink, no epson ink, no brother ink. In my ten years in RS, I officially worked in three different stores, and I helped out in over ten other stores for a few days here and there. No matter what store, no matter the neighborhood, at least once every week I worked in RS, some fool would come into the store looking for an ink that RS didn't sell. When the idiot was told, that RS didn't have his ink. He will then ask the question 'then where can I get my ink?' Are you kidding me?? How about the place you bought your printer for starters? When told to go to Staples or OfficeMax, the idiot would look surprised that THOSE stores would sell ink. Stupid.

There were customers that came into RadioShack, looking to buy Metrocards for the bus/subway. One customer came into the store, looking for a power cord for his REFRIGERATOR.

Customers would come into the store and say 'phone case'. What the fudge does that mean? Doesn't anybody use sentences anymore? Or, they would shove their cordless battery in someone's face and say nothing. Doesn't anybody have manners. A simple 'please' would sound a lot better than saying 'I need to put minutes on my phone'.

Minimum wage does not mean minimum respect.
The customer is not always right. Sometimes they are dead wrong.